EU What?! (A Brexit Forecast) No more full English fry ups in the sun No more beach burned bodies and Costa Brava fun They'll shut all the pubs and ban all the trips To John Smith's British Caff for the best fish 'n' chips No more Chateau or Castillo or magnificent Schloss No more lounging by the pool in an Algarve villa, what a loss! No more nipping over the Channel for daytrip thrills No more piling the van high with cheap plonk, fags and Pils An end to free movement, though it works both ways You can't come over here on your extended stays Contributing to our economy and improving our lot Stay where you are, but oh we forgot Our shiny new passports bedecked in blue Will need a bloody visa if we're just passing through And the queues at immigration will be hours long But we still want to leave EU, so what could go wrong? An end to the entente cordiale with our friends in France Brexit, the suppurating boil that had to be lanced As the pounds slowly fester in British wallet and purse It's adios, au revoir, auf wiedershen to the tapas, fromage and wurst Brexit is our two fingered salute 'Coz we are Britain, a veritable King Canute Keeping the tide of Johnny foreigners safely at bay Bringing back jingoism, intolerance and the 1970's way Of treating difference as something of which to be scared But before the referendum no one really cared Where you came from or what you did But Brexit was the chance at last to get rid So no more opera in La Scala Milan No more waltzing in Vienna or Parisienne Can Can And no more hopping islands and nights at Greek tavernas But who needs Europe when we have Brexit, our nice little earner.
